Up, up and away.

Things are looking up. I am setting goals and that makes me so happy. I really want to get back into running and the race scene. I miss the race scene so much and the adrenaline from all of the people cheering you on. The race I ran on Sunday, was all women and it felt so good. I have not made any definite plans for my next marathon but i am thinking about Chicago next October, any thoughts, comments and concerns?

P.S. I love my husband, he has been so understanding and loving through all of my emotional struggles. I have come to the decision that through all the wedding planning and everyone being here, I am just home sick. 

run with a goal and walk with a purpose

So this morning i ran a 5k and had a pr (personal record) for my adult life before high school doesn't count any more. I ran it in 29.20.. which is awsome for my sub 30 aspirations. It felt great and the weather was awomse.

When I run I always run for 5 mins and walk for 1 and thats how I have been running for the last 10 years. SO when you see me walking its with a purpose not because I am worn out. Thanks.

For Seriousness..

I am not always a serious person because it usually scares me or I shy away from it and cover it with humor. As the previous post stated I currently hate the way I look right now, which may have a bit to blame, but we will talk about that later.

There once was a time in my life I was always scared, timid, not confident, and depressed. Some of those factors have changed a little or ALOT depending on which one. I hated that person. The one that could not stand up to anyone until one day that all changed. EVERYTHING changed, some say it was for the better (for me) and some say for the worse (for him). but .. it did CHANGE. The desperate change I had been looking for for so long and when it happened I had no idea how to react or what to do. I was the one who got away, got away from all of it, luckily. I never thought I would, but I did.

These events lead to even more depression. Depression that I did not know how to explain. Depression that I thought would never happen. Everything got better I thought, well no I was wrong. It had to get worse before it got better and it did. I lived, I became stronger. I am who, I am today.

Well, it wasn't until I moved here and became lonely that all of these feelings came back. I got home sick which never happened before. I got lonely with no friends. That changed and things got better and busy and better. Well, maybe not. Things got busy, but I wouldn't say better they got hidden.

Well, now we are back to square 1 yet again. These feelings are back and I do not know what to do and knowing me I blame myself. What else can I do... What's next. I do not know the answer to these questions as the tears well up in my eyes i am done with this post.

So..

School has been consuming my life lately and I have not been around lately and if I am not at school or sleeping I have been trying to work out 3 x a week. I know that doesn't sound like much but when you have 3 12 hour days of school + 1 12 hours day of work and than 2 half days of either, it is ALOT!

I do not care what you say because I am not listening, but I need to lose weight and hate the way I look and I think it is affecting the way peter looks at me =/ .. no fun. It is so hard to lose weight, i am thinking really hard about signing up for a race and hopefully that will motivate me to get off my but. We will see..

Ceremony 101

So this will maybe ( we will see) be an ongoing series about the wedding breakdown and budget, etc.

This post is all about the CEREMONY.
- Venue: $450_ the venue included the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception
- Backdrop: $70_ I bought 3 doors from an architecture  re-sale nurse and we reassembled them
- Vases: $80_ Peters mom was set on buying these vases and we did and it looked great.
- Glads: $20_ A friend bought 4 bunches of glads at the farmers market that morning and they were                 absolutely perfect
- Rings: $180_ Peter's titanium ring was 180 and I used my engagement ring which I love.
- Flowers: $130_ All of the corsages, buttoners and bouquets (Yes I am cheap and didn't care)
- My attire: $600_ my dress/corset: $500, my shoes: $30, veil: $10, & garter from etsy: $20
- Peter's Attire: $300_ for a sword (yes you read that his uniform was free)
- Everything else was included in the ceremony room and extras were put in the ceremony room.
So................................. total: $1830 or about 26% of our budget
That's pretty awsome.. don't you think? What did you spend?

Now for the pictures.. woo hoo!

dress

ceremony room

backdrop

rings on paper flowers from center pieces

rings on flowers from bouquets

my shoes

First kiss as man and woman

Walking down the aisle as man and wife

This is our significant couple and this wedding could not have been possible without these two.

Isn't it funny.

(These are thoughts I had while running last week so it may come off as a rambling).
Isn't it funny that things change as we get older and we get inspired by different aspects of out lives. Back story: I have been running long distances since I was 4 years old. In high school a few of my friends thought I was crazy and I would just run. Most people including my new husband thought that I ran marathons and that meant that I was self-motivated: NOT TRUE! My mother was to blame for that, she would literally kick me out of bed (well maybe not so dramatic) but get me outside and I would motivate her to keep going. Well, now that I do not live near my mother my running has been declining as my weight has been increasing. So i get my inspiration from my friends in high school that are now doing races every week and this blog have been keeping me motivated but only slightly because i am ALWAYS tired from school and what not. So i think its funny now my motivation has changed. I love that these changes occur and keep me wanting more. Where do you get your motivation?

P.S. I got a hair cut today.

What do you think about my haircut?