the decline of an uphill battle..

So I never thought today would come. Today was the last first day of nursing school (BSN) I will ever have. WIth that being said lets start from the beginning..
 I knew that I always wanted to be in the health care industry after knowingly know that my 6 year old cousin died and that should have never happened ( I always thought and still do that if he lived in a less urban area or where my parents live he would have ben able to go to St. Judes and everything would have been ok, but it might be that sometimes i am naive). I always carried around my playskool stethoscope and played nurse/doctor and "made people better." I decided and took on the challenge of a medical magnet high school that my mom warned me about but I did it anyway.
Well, college was a joke for me and did not take it seriously until a few years ago and this made it very difficult for me to get into any nursing program in California, I probably applied to over 10 schools in 3 years and each one was filled with more disappointment than the last. This was one reason we  moved 2000 miles away. I had heard a rumor that it was just easier and you didn't even need to finish your pre-reqs (even though I had them done already). When I moved to chicago I looked and looked but never took it too seriously and honestly I had other things to worry about at the time. Well when I moved down here I looked for every loop hole way around nursing school and just began ferociously applying (because science courses expire in 5 years and I was fast approaching that time line). I applied to the local community college, the university (with no hopes of getting in to a non-nursing program) and the LCON (the program I am in now). I didn't get excepted to the cc or the university, but I got that one letter I had been so desperately seeking that I almost through it away because I couldn't take another rejection and I didn't believe it to be real. Well.. IT WAS!!
That is not all.. nursing school has been filled with trials and tribulations especially in the first semester. I had a very hard time keeping it all together. There was one class where we had to take a standardized test (the ati) in which you had to pass (level 2 or 3) in order to pass the class and got 2 tries to do it in. Well, I didn't pass either time by one point. I spent 2 hours just crying in my teachers office and there was nothing that could be done this was policy. This was last spring and during the summer I took one class and revamped my attitude, but when I sat in that office all i wanted to was quit and I did not tell anyone this for a very long time, I felt so ashamed. Now i realize it was all for the better and has made me a better person and has given me more opportunity.
So this is why I never thought this day would never come but now it here and gone and I only have 16 more weeks left of nursing school. woo hoo!