#200

This is post #200

Look at me go.. 

Well I want to share some good news with all of you. 
&
I am.
( I have been waiting to share this new with you)
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Last Friday (1/20) I took my boards (the dreaded NCLEX).

I told very few people so if you didn't know, your with the majority of the population.
I took all 265 questions.
If you didn't know, the minimum is 75.
I have developed paranoid schizophrenia and OCD the last 48 hours
that you have to wait for results
BUT..


I PASSED!!

(source)

I am officially an BSN, RN (a nurse). 
woo hoo!

A new years of goals

As I recover from the hangover from last night.. I wanted to tell you about our month of december and why having a birthday in January sucks. (Yes I am presuming I will have a hangover tomorrow but i am pretty sure its going to happen.

The month of december has flown by. We had an ugly sweater party, than went an hour and half down south to visit my grandma, than it was graduation and chuck dogs 70th birthday party in chicago (all in the same day) and than it was entertaining my family and starting a full time job and than christmas eve in chicago and christmas day here and now new years in chicago.

I AM TIRED.. of traveling.


Than... my wonderful birthday is a week from today. I have no motivation for celebrating. I just want to relax. I have also been studying for my state boards. 


My goal for january is to relax and spend more time with my husband.
My goal for 2012 is to:
      - run at least one 1/2 marathon
      - run one full marathon
      - do a mini tri
      - & enjoy all of the places we will be traveling for weddings =)

(source)

What are your goals for 2012?

Long and strange journey.. wrap up.

When I started this journey two years ago, I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I had been let down by so many other schools (over 10 to be exact) and I just never thought I would get it. Well that proved wrong in October 2011. 

The start_ here: Where I wrote about nursing school and my goals for the next 2 years as listed below

      My goals by the end of 2011:

            - be married _ CHECK!

            - graduate with a BSN_ Almost CHECK (dec 17th, can't come soon enough)

            - have a home _ CHECK!

            - 2 years experience _ CHECK!

            - A job_ CHECK!

Look at me go on that check list.. woo hoo! 

Week one of my journey_ here: I was in a bad place and very very low self esteem and thought every one was out to get me. My first semester was my hardest was written about here. All about trials and tribulations.

Well it is all coming to an end. In 17 more days I will walk across that stage and it will be the end of this epic battle. These past 2 years have bee more of a learning experience than anything and in all reality I can't believe I did it and can't wait for it to be over. It has truly been amazing.

A class summary from community health clinical:

"This course has expanded my opinions and horizons of community nursing into other aspects of nursing that I wasn’t aware of and what it meant to be a community health nurse. I never really had a passion for something entering nursing school or something that stuck out at me more than others. As I tried things and crossed them off my list i slowly realized that the things i was most passionate about were the things outside the hospital. Nursing school set you up to have a hospital based job, but i knew that wasn’t for me. I knew I wanted something different. In mental health clinical, I fell in love with the substance abuse program. Than i had community health clinical and everything changed. I guess i just never realized what was all encompassing in community health nursing. I found my passion and glad to report I am going to be a community health nurse and do something i am pasisonate about. "

In conclusion,..

So.. Today we had to take a big, no scratch that MASSIVE test today that predicts our percentage to pass the NCLEX (state boards) after we graduate. Our school requires an above 90% to pass the NCLEX to pass this test. Well, today was pretty much what the whole semester is all about.  If we go back 3 months to September we took the same test and that predicted what we had to do through out the year. On the first test I did not do so hot, so this test I was a stress maniac. To help calm some stress  I ditched my last clinical for class had breakfast with a friend and tried to calm down. Well, I PASSED!!! I am so happy and relived.

Psst.. I am going to graduate whether you want me to or not. I am going to do this!

Care Plans

 (source)

So, let me tell you a little about nursing school (since I am almost finished). 

The first semester you get told you can't do it, the second semester you can't keep up, the third semester everything changes and sucks and the fourth you get told you won't have a job. 

Thats nursing school in a nutshell. 

Well, as a nursing student you learn to over analyze people and try to be detectives, even if it is not your passion and figure out whats going on. 

Well, you ask how do you do that?

You write a 20 page paper called a care plan about ONE PERSON and all of the shit going on with that ONE PERSON because they never listened, took their drugs and sat in front of a tv (usually, not always). 

Well, I am happy to say I do not have to write any more care plans in my nursing career as a bsn. 

woo hoo! 

I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.. almost.  

Today!

You know here where I couldn't tell you anything.. Well, I got a NEW JOB as a NURSE!!!!!! I start TODAY!!!

I am so excited. Of course I am not a real nurse yet but its getting close and I will be training until I take the NCLEX, etc. I am so very excited

So..

School has been consuming my life lately and I have not been around lately and if I am not at school or sleeping I have been trying to work out 3 x a week. I know that doesn't sound like much but when you have 3 12 hour days of school + 1 12 hours day of work and than 2 half days of either, it is ALOT!

I do not care what you say because I am not listening, but I need to lose weight and hate the way I look and I think it is affecting the way peter looks at me =/ .. no fun. It is so hard to lose weight, i am thinking really hard about signing up for a race and hopefully that will motivate me to get off my but. We will see..

the decline of an uphill battle..

So I never thought today would come. Today was the last first day of nursing school (BSN) I will ever have. WIth that being said lets start from the beginning..
 I knew that I always wanted to be in the health care industry after knowingly know that my 6 year old cousin died and that should have never happened ( I always thought and still do that if he lived in a less urban area or where my parents live he would have ben able to go to St. Judes and everything would have been ok, but it might be that sometimes i am naive). I always carried around my playskool stethoscope and played nurse/doctor and "made people better." I decided and took on the challenge of a medical magnet high school that my mom warned me about but I did it anyway.
Well, college was a joke for me and did not take it seriously until a few years ago and this made it very difficult for me to get into any nursing program in California, I probably applied to over 10 schools in 3 years and each one was filled with more disappointment than the last. This was one reason we  moved 2000 miles away. I had heard a rumor that it was just easier and you didn't even need to finish your pre-reqs (even though I had them done already). When I moved to chicago I looked and looked but never took it too seriously and honestly I had other things to worry about at the time. Well when I moved down here I looked for every loop hole way around nursing school and just began ferociously applying (because science courses expire in 5 years and I was fast approaching that time line). I applied to the local community college, the university (with no hopes of getting in to a non-nursing program) and the LCON (the program I am in now). I didn't get excepted to the cc or the university, but I got that one letter I had been so desperately seeking that I almost through it away because I couldn't take another rejection and I didn't believe it to be real. Well.. IT WAS!!
That is not all.. nursing school has been filled with trials and tribulations especially in the first semester. I had a very hard time keeping it all together. There was one class where we had to take a standardized test (the ati) in which you had to pass (level 2 or 3) in order to pass the class and got 2 tries to do it in. Well, I didn't pass either time by one point. I spent 2 hours just crying in my teachers office and there was nothing that could be done this was policy. This was last spring and during the summer I took one class and revamped my attitude, but when I sat in that office all i wanted to was quit and I did not tell anyone this for a very long time, I felt so ashamed. Now i realize it was all for the better and has made me a better person and has given me more opportunity.
So this is why I never thought this day would never come but now it here and gone and I only have 16 more weeks left of nursing school. woo hoo!

Focus... focus.. focus

I am not in the focussing and full school mode right now. During this summer I have the take 2 classes: mental health and pediatrics. Both are interesting subjects and lets face it, I am an over achiever sometimes .. BUT I can not focus with the sunshine to play in and all the crocheting I can do at work. Yesterday I made a hat and I also finished a heart pillow this week. It is so relaxing and more fun than stupid studying.. ugh.

p.s. by the way I am trying to get in shape for the wedding aftermath of our honey moon.. double ugh.

SKLA

So, yesterday before my massive exam my friend sara and I went to starbucks. I saw a bunch of my old customers which was awsome. I ordered a skinny carmel macchiato (SKCM) and got it for FREE, the manager told me it was on the house, which was awsome. But he wrote on the the cup SKLA or thats what it looked like. The barista steve was making fun of it and called it a tall skinny LA.. hey that's me! is what i thought. It just made me laugh and smile for the rest of the day. I passed my really big exam and i have one more to go. Isn't it funny how someone, a complete stranger, can say or do something and it makes everything simple and better. I love that.

Where you've been..

I have been super busy with work (being in high demand for a week) and school with finals creeping up on me and I told peters mom i would cook easter dinner (why did i say that) and the half marathon i signed up to get motivated (still not working and its less than 2 weeks away) and the BIG wedding shower is slowly approaching.. WHY OH WHY!

well that sums it up in a nutshell and besides working 43 hours last week its been tough. I have a really big test tomorrow that i can no longer study for because my brain might explode with kidney function and cast placements (OH BOY, RIGHT? yeah thats me right now and mix it up with some cancer and were good to go)

Anyways, i completed my 2nd baby blanket this year, a couple weeks ago and just mailed it so here you go.  It is going to my friend Amy (I call her Amyers) (she already has it, so i can post it now)

What do you think?

week # 4.. dun dun DUN!

i honestly don't even want to think that far ahead, but this week is going to suck more than usual because my nerve are going through the roof. Monday-- first clinical which i am scared shitless about and of course have to do a report on that and journal entry. Tuesday-- foundations test #2

Wednesday-- pharm test #2 and test out #1 for assessment and than good old thursdays.. how i love thee-- just lab than, friday-- work 12 hours 7a to 7p and saturday-- work 12 hours 7p to 7a .. thats right over night, sunday-- work 6 hours 5p to 11p

wow! thats a long tough week.. we can get through this one day at a time. 

i have friends.. and week #3

so week #3 is over and it was a hard one at that. i have been trying to prepare for week #4 so I have been very busy reading. I don't know how much reading an actual person can retain but it just seems to be so overwhelming still. i hope it gets a little easier. i dont know. we will see. This week doesn't seem to be that difficult but we will see. 

Also, i got this left on my computer a couple days ago and i wanted to share because I have friends and thats what i like.  haaha

Hey Steph its Jacob. I had fun last night. Tell your friend to call me, I will look for the call tomorrow. I not only would be an interesting and complex candidate, but also have an interest in what she is learning. Take care, I like your painting, and your Texan friends. =)

-J

ps by the way i lost 3 lbs!! yay! its exciting i really want to lose 30 but right now I am on the right track

so .. week 1

Week one of nursing school is over and its been a tough one. I have kinda discussed with those who matter my worries that i have been hiding inside. I had a really close client of mine pass away when I was in California. I knew it was going to happen but I didn't realize so soon. It kinda hurt me to know that i could no longer go to her for advice or talk about things I don't not normally talk about, but you know it happens to the best of us. She worried about me and i worried about her, but I much need this vacation and I know this would have hurt a whole lot more if I was here while it happened. Well, one thing that had been bothering me was that if peter were to leave me where would that leave me. I thought about it for a long time and it bothered me for a long time. Simply, because i am in no position right now to take care of myself or be financially dependent. I don't have the money for it. So, I confronted him about it (while i was drunk .. of course) than we talked about it over lunch. Really deep down its that I don't have my support system here to encourage me to keep going. They are 2000 miles away, my only friends may be moving away in a year and are engaged and i don't have time to help them. I feel lost and I really don't like this city. Whoa! thats a lot off my chest. Peter emplied he would never do that and that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful ( he told me this morning during you know) and it made me feel 100% better. We will see. I don't need to be stressing about this right now. Its only going to make me sick and I can't do that right now.

Lots of work and book pile almost 3 feet high is a little intimidating, but I will get through it. I promise you that. <3.