Sunday, January 17, 2010

so .. week 1

Week one of nursing school is over and its been a tough one. I have kinda discussed with those who matter my worries that i have been hiding inside. I had a really close client of mine pass away when I was in California. I knew it was going to happen but I didn't realize so soon. It kinda hurt me to know that i could no longer go to her for advice or talk about things I don't not normally talk about, but you know it happens to the best of us. She worried about me and i worried about her, but I much need this vacation and I know this would have hurt a whole lot more if I was here while it happened. Well, one thing that had been bothering me was that if peter were to leave me where would that leave me. I thought about it for a long time and it bothered me for a long time. Simply, because i am in no position right now to take care of myself or be financially dependent. I don't have the money for it. So, I confronted him about it (while i was drunk .. of course) than we talked about it over lunch. Really deep down its that I don't have my support system here to encourage me to keep going. They are 2000 miles away, my only friends may be moving away in a year and are engaged and i don't have time to help them. I feel lost and I really don't like this city. Whoa! thats a lot off my chest. Peter emplied he would never do that and that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful ( he told me this morning during you know) and it made me feel 100% better. We will see. I don't need to be stressing about this right now. Its only going to make me sick and I can't do that right now.
Lots of work and book pile almost 3 feet high is a little intimidating, but I will get through it. I promise you that. <3.

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