a not so productive [SPRING BREAK]

[This is edited.. big time] Lets start out with this picture I found on friends blog, which I find very true and interesting. It makes me think that I never thought I would be living in the midwest. I grew up in California my whole life and thought i was never going to leave, which now i look at it was unrealistic. We moved to the best city in the world, chicago (my opinion.. i love it there) and it didn't work out for us, but i still love it. Than we moved to literally bfe in champaign-urbana, which I hated for a really long time (you can look at earlier posts, especially related to work). Now its not so bad, things are starting to look up and that's a really good feeling. i am nursing school, it's still very weird to say and believe. We have a wonderful house, which I also didn't like at first but now I love. It is amazing at accommodating people when we host parties. We are slowly working on it, painting it, and making it our own. We have not lived here a full year so we don't know what is growing in the back yard but I am so excited to see what it is. We also haven't unpacked everything as well so we are working on that too. But so far so good. I am also looking ahead and where I would want to work when i am done with school. I have an opportunity to sign a 3 year contract with my current employer, but I don't know there are pros and cons to it so we will have to see. Thats the up date so far.
School is the hardest, best thing ever and the craziest, hardest, worst thing ever. I know that if when I make it through this with peter peter pumpkin eater he is right for me because let me tell you, he has already seen me on my best days when I am beaming from ear and ear and on my worst days when I am so disappointed in myself. So thats what its like and bring it on, I am ready. I can't believe how much we have learned already it is so cool.

No more cupcakes =(

So, today at lunch of course eating a burger I shouldn't have been eating we (my friend, anna and I) decided that we want bikini bodies by the summer, well kinda we want to lose 20 lbs by May. Thats reasonable. I am also running a half marathon May 1st and so with that said the first thing to do say no more cupcakes. sad day oh well thats the way its got to be. i can't give up dairy right now but maybe in the future. i really like milk now and i dont have bad gas (i know, TMI) but we will see when we get closer it will also be harder because I now drink milk all the time. so we will see. Until next time and hopefully lighter.

week # 4.. dun dun DUN!

i honestly don't even want to think that far ahead, but this week is going to suck more than usual because my nerve are going through the roof. Monday-- first clinical which i am scared shitless about and of course have to do a report on that and journal entry. Tuesday-- foundations test #2

Wednesday-- pharm test #2 and test out #1 for assessment and than good old thursdays.. how i love thee-- just lab than, friday-- work 12 hours 7a to 7p and saturday-- work 12 hours 7p to 7a .. thats right over night, sunday-- work 6 hours 5p to 11p

wow! thats a long tough week.. we can get through this one day at a time. 

i have friends.. and week #3

so week #3 is over and it was a hard one at that. i have been trying to prepare for week #4 so I have been very busy reading. I don't know how much reading an actual person can retain but it just seems to be so overwhelming still. i hope it gets a little easier. i dont know. we will see. This week doesn't seem to be that difficult but we will see. 

Also, i got this left on my computer a couple days ago and i wanted to share because I have friends and thats what i like.  haaha

Hey Steph its Jacob. I had fun last night. Tell your friend to call me, I will look for the call tomorrow. I not only would be an interesting and complex candidate, but also have an interest in what she is learning. Take care, I like your painting, and your Texan friends. =)

-J

ps by the way i lost 3 lbs!! yay! its exciting i really want to lose 30 but right now I am on the right track

so .. week 1

Week one of nursing school is over and its been a tough one. I have kinda discussed with those who matter my worries that i have been hiding inside. I had a really close client of mine pass away when I was in California. I knew it was going to happen but I didn't realize so soon. It kinda hurt me to know that i could no longer go to her for advice or talk about things I don't not normally talk about, but you know it happens to the best of us. She worried about me and i worried about her, but I much need this vacation and I know this would have hurt a whole lot more if I was here while it happened. Well, one thing that had been bothering me was that if peter were to leave me where would that leave me. I thought about it for a long time and it bothered me for a long time. Simply, because i am in no position right now to take care of myself or be financially dependent. I don't have the money for it. So, I confronted him about it (while i was drunk .. of course) than we talked about it over lunch. Really deep down its that I don't have my support system here to encourage me to keep going. They are 2000 miles away, my only friends may be moving away in a year and are engaged and i don't have time to help them. I feel lost and I really don't like this city. Whoa! thats a lot off my chest. Peter emplied he would never do that and that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful ( he told me this morning during you know) and it made me feel 100% better. We will see. I don't need to be stressing about this right now. Its only going to make me sick and I can't do that right now.

Lots of work and book pile almost 3 feet high is a little intimidating, but I will get through it. I promise you that. <3.

so here goes 25..

Alright so 25 is starting off pretty good for Peter and I. We just had our first official party of the year, i am a year older (and maybe not so wiser) and I am completely happy. It is the first day of school first day of school first day of school!! tomorrow which i can not actually believe is happening after so long and so much work I am finally getting it all. Peter and I are doing very well, we love our house which is perfect for parties we think and because we don't have a lot of friends everything seems to suit as is. My job is pretty awsome and I am getting some pretty good experience as well, so thats good too. so far so good.. we will see what happens next. <3.

Decisions.. the year of decisions

This year has been nothing but filled out with decision and let me tell you right now, not all of them were easy, right, or good ones but they were decisions that i made. The year did not start off well. I was very very sick Peter was living in Florida I had to faced my first decision which i lost friendships over and emotionally lost it although physically i was ok. Than in April,  it was quitting my job to move to bfe so that Peter could be closer to his fathers business and start working there. Which did not go according to plan. The actual opposite when my back up plan became my only plan. Yes this was ok but not for long, people were not what they said they were and very mean. I didn't like this town nor the people, but i dealt. All at once it seems that things started to fall in place. During the summer I took CNA classes and it all took off from there. I got a job, left starbucks, we got our house, and I got into nursing school. There have been many times where I wanted to give up, go home, and start all over, but guess what I am still here trying to make it and get through it. I am hoping that next year will be amazing and I am hoping for more. We will see. <3.